la lucha festiva

Yesterday was the celebration of la virgen de Guadalupe and as the child of Mexican immigrants, who have an altar dedicated to her in their home, I should have attended church at 4 or 5 am to sing her las mañanitas. I should have contributed to a posada as well. But I didn't - does that make me a bad Mexican-American? No. Does that make me a bad Catholic? Maybe. Does it make me a shitty daughter? Probably, for sure. I can't really defend myself nor will I; I will just admit it, I am not perfect. I make mistakes and I am not as thoughtful as I should be. I am selfish.

For as long as I can remember, el dia de or the festivities that surround the celebration of la virgen de Guadalupe marks the holiday season for our family. It is also around the time we celebrate my mom's birthday, soon there after my brother's birthday and then noche buena and Navidad, new year, Adrian's birthday, my bff's birthday and niece's birthday. I am almost done with all of my Christmas shopping also known as burning through money I probably don't have (like everyone else). You may be thinking...okay so where are you going with this - I'm getting there...

I don't believe in Christmas, the American Christmas - the commercial Christmas. Yet, I buy presents.I buy presents because it makes me happy - to get people objects/things that are material. 2016 is a year for new traditions and some compromises. Or to be a bit more clear - a year for establishing traditions for myself and Adrian (my husband!); which is a bit scary and quiet frankly super tiring (we drove 400 miles back and forth within about 24 hours and did not sleep for Thanksgiving). I'm okay doing this for the next two years, that is my compromise then we will have to alternate between families (even though I don't want to, ugh being a grown AF married adult).

Anyway, like I was saying - Christmas and its' traditions; this is the first year since I was 18 that I've had a Christmas tree (Adrian's idea, I compromised) so that means that we follow my traditions when it comes to present opening - we can open presents whenever we want. I don't see anything special about the 25th of December to have to wait until midnight or morning just like I don't see anything special about the third Thursday of November to eat turkey that gives me the runs for about a week. What is special to me about this holiday season is the time off I have, away from the work week, to spend with people I love.

I missed out this year on the posadas for la virgen de Guadalupe - a lesson learned and tradition I would like to build into our traditions going forward - not because I am super Catholic or because I like the commercialization of these socially constructed capitalistic holidays but rather because this is the time that we all have which corresponds to spend with each.

#holidaystruggle