Saturday, May 25, 2019

Review of 30.

Alright let's see how I did. 31 year old Karen comment's in purple. 

1.      I need to learn how to love myself again; I’m angry, I’m bitter, life is not fair – regardless I need to love myself and cannot expect myself to be perfect and I need to stop comparing my present to my past self This is in process now. I am trying a little harder. 
2.      I need a new and consistent personal project to dive into; one thing that I have learned over the years is that I do my best work when my plate is close to full – I tend to drop all the balls I am juggling when I have too much time to relax/consume media/tv (on the internet) So I've really tried to get into gardening and growing succulents. I think it is working out - at first I thought I was going to kill all the plants - bc let's face it I have done just that in the past - okay so I might have killed a few. But the majority of them have survived! 
3.      Draft my memoir; my life is super interesting up to this point – who better to document it… Nope and this one has been on the list for the longest time too - and if I am being completely honest - here's the problem: I use to be super comfortable and open about my life on the internet - I use to be an open book and maybe border emo kid in high school - writing/blogging etc. perhaps in college as well - over the last 5 years I think I hit my lowest and I haven't really felt like myself and I'd rather not put my depression, anxiety and insecurity on full display. At least not yet. 
4.      Bring my whole self to work; be Xicana at work – there was a time that I was really in people’s faces about the stereotypes they made and would call them out and try to educate…at one point it became too emotionally exhausting and I just stopped going to work on certain “holidays” – I am trying to find the right moments to embrace the “diversity” I've been working in this new group (new group to me) for a little over a 1.5 years now and I feel like I bring my whole self to work. And everyone around me is just as funny and weird. 
5.      I want to pursue sitting on a Board for a museum here in San Francisco (Mexican Museum) Seriously attempted this very soon after I wrote down this goal and failed hard. It was my lack of follow up and persistence - I will try another angle. 
6.      I need to find a new Mentor - Still looking.
7.      I need to find someone to Mentor - Idk. haven't found someone and Alexia doesn't count - I don't think - mainly bc she doesn't listen to me.
8.      Explore hosting my own PODCAST - I have serious drafts on this - it just hasn't happened yet.
9.      Take an actual vacation  We took a mini vacation for my birthday kinda counts kinda doesn't 
10.   Audit some graduate courses in the bay area Not yet
11.   Continued work on fitnesssssss and health I signed up for Orange Theory - and I've gone to 5 classes so far, I purchased a 30 pack sooo I have plenty more to go to, Adrian is also building us a home gym - he def uses it more than I do - I need to work on discipline. 
12.   Buy a house; or just get a bigger space Um - yeah - so WE DID THIS. My heart still can't believe it. There are so many projects. :/ :)
13.   Continue to save money - I've gotten good at this and I didn't think I could be good at I used to spend sooo much more money when our rent was like half of our mortgage...I am pretty proud.
14.   Update budget  this one was like CAKE - so easy.
15.   Practice patience Your girl is trying. 
16.   Practice your creativity – like the world is missing out, you are missing out by not sharing Like I said - I am into gardening now - and so making planters is creative - I am trying...coming later this summer - I'll be selling my cactus/succulent arrangements!!!
17.   Build more altars I've been building these around my house. Need to do something big for Dia de los muertos this year. 
18.   Sleep at 7-8 hours a night  it is getting better all the time
19.   Read more actual books Done. I have a stack that I am currently getting through on my daily commutes
20.   Become an expert in my industry  Slow progression and I think I now have a better idea of what I will be asking to take on next!!!
21.   Attend more local events; support local artists, continue to build a community  I could be doing a better job at this. 
22.   Write more letters to mom  I only write them in my journal and in my head - mainly when I am blasting music, singing and crying. I have so many emotions about her, our relationship and how much I miss her and need her. So many questions I will never get to ask her. 
23.   Ask Tia Lety to let you make copies of all her digital files of mom  I will try to do this next time I see her. 
24.   Purge more of the material things in your life Been doing this. Might be having a yard sale sometime at the end of the summer! HEYYY
25.   Stop eating things that are bad for you!  it is hard. but yes I need to. All I am doing is slowly killing myself.
26.   Continue to talk about yourself in the 3rd person – it is so cool  I think I am doing this right now. 
27.   Make yourself at least 10 awesome playlists for all occasions  wow hella lagged on this one. I should just make this a challenge and I could knock it out in a weekend
28.   Start collecting vinyl records I think I did this. 
29.   Ask Jaime to teach you how to DJ He usually just laughs at me. 
30.   Spend time with family Yes. Alexia lives here for now. Need to do more of this. You can never have enough of this.