Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Recap of 31...

From 32 year old me to 31 year old me - fuck 2020 has been quite the year no? And what it is June - now almost July - I can't even believe that I'm 32 now - I still feel like 26 year old me... anyway - here are my reactions to the Year 31 goals:
  1. Say no more often; remember you don't owe anything to anyone; I'm getting better at this - at work, at home and with my family - I will admit that it hurts to say no to people when you are so use to saying yes but the reality is I can no longer say yes to everything and everyone.   
  2. Stop stressing out, you should only worry about the things that are in your control; bhahah I should have read this list this morning when I was having my work melt down - this is probably a life lesson I will need to continue to learn perhaps something we all need to work on.  
  3. Develop skills that will help you continue to grow your career; LOL I don't even know where I want my career to go right now - do I want to keep being this program manager of sorts? Chief of Staff? Ad Hoc - catcher of all things in the air? Looking for skills outside of organization and execution...maybe back track to education, writing and writing poetry. 
  4. Take advantage of all the professional development that work provides you; I lined up some items and they were unfortunately postponed due to COVID19 - I need to supplement this with some online/virtual learning... also in need of a mentor - it has been a couple years now - I have my council of people that I turn to but need "my person"
  5. Meditate; Yes - also crying and screaming into the air
  6. Drink more WATER; this one was not as hard as I thought it'd be
  7. Stick to a skincare routine - you are going to get wrinkles but you still need to you know put on sunscreen and all that ish; been trying all kinds of things - still haven't landed on one thing
  8. Look in the mirror at least once a day and tell yourself that you are beautiful bitch - eres la mas gorgeous girl in the fucking world and don't you forget it;  I maybe do this once a  month...
  9. Lose weight for the sake of your own health, hold yourself accountable to it; seek help; document it, be healthy; I've lost 17 lbs since December - which too me doesn't feel like enough and I know I have a long way to go - goal is to be stronger and more physically fit
  10. Fine tune your green thumb; meh - Adrian will probably say I can do better - I kill way too many plants :/
  11. Build yourself a realistic routine; low key shelter in place has helped me with this - can I work from home forever?
  12. Plan at least 4 trips a year to recharge; they can be long, short, one day;  need to rethink this and maybe do driving trips 
  13. Buy yourself and Adrian bikes and bike!; we kinda did this - I bought Adrian a bike for his birthday and I inherited an old bike that we (Adrian fixed up)
  14. Give Adrian more hugs and kisses; guys I am so bad at this :(
  15. Take the dogs out for walks more often; again shelter in place has helped a lot with this
  16. Sit outside and enjoy the outdoors; yes definitely enjoying our movie nights outside
  17. Fuck negative energy; girl - yes seriously- I can officially say - for the time being - I have zero negative people in my life.
  18. Write, Karen - you don't have to fear "it not being good enough" - dude just write - remember how good you feel after each time you write - even if it is just a little; I wrote a little - and I am recommitting to writing more here - starting today - on the real real - I write when I am angry and sad - today has been a day
  19. Explore hosting my own PODCAST, be more active on social, be an open book - let it come naturally- fuck it if ppl judge you - "sharing is Karen";  I don't even know what I would talk about LOL - IDK I'll rethink this one... 
  20. Visit the place where your parents were born/raised; keeping this on the list since we can't really go right now and I really want to take my dad with us
  21. Save money - reality check - you need to save hella money to retire early; this is happening - I think I am also going to need to start looking into other sources of revenue/income bc I don't want to work for the "man" for another 30 years
  22. Practice your creativity more often;  for a minute I got into making bracelets and embroidery and then stopped...:/
  23. Go on a daily walk - find time; morning walk to work, get off one stop early, take a break during lunch (you tend to solve problems during walks), after dinner, figure it out - it will be pay off in the long run; definitely doing this and again due to shelter in place it is easy - just need to be consistent - and not let ppl try to take over my lunch time walk
  24. Read more books, blogs, articles, girl be inspired; been doing this - maybe need to actively share what I am reading and write some kind of reflection
  25. Find community, it is okay to make new friends;  hahaha - this really hasn't happened - I think I've been become a bit more open with folks at work but only a tiny bit - maybe time to admit to myself that I will only make internet friends LOL hi people reading this
  26. LET GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE AND TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, talk about it if you have to - if people don't love you as you are - you don't need them and they don't need you; as mentioned above - good bye one more time to the negative ppl - you know who you are - so if you are creeping - hi hello - nice to know you still want to know what I'm doing
  27. Write letters, to yourself, to your mom, to Adrian (homie deserves so many love letters); again I acknowledge that I am not so great at this... 
  28. Play music - it makes you happy - you deserve to be happy; been doing this. doing this now.
  29. Sell stuff, succulents, plants, crafts, art, clothes - be the curator you are - chicXicana - share it with the world you know you want to; guys - did I mention that I have my own office/studio space in my house - so let's see if I find the motivation to do this!
  30. Spend time with family, immediate, extended - you need familia; this one has been hard bc of Covid19 recently - I need to try harder 
  31. DYE YOUR HAIR WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT for fucks sake!  Lately I've been kinda okay with letting my gray hair grow out - let's see how long that lasts

to recap 31 - I think it taught me that I need to create space for myself.

xoxo, chicXicana 

p.s. working on year 32 goals next!